You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
