he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
