cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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