either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
