fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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