At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize