you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
