we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
