he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
