i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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