i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
