Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
