6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
