Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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