3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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