Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
