do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
even my farts smell like vagina
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
