No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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