Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
