He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
