is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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