I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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