Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I forgot wine drunk hurts
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
