so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
