Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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