if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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