I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
