Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
