i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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