i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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