when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just gargled with NyQuil
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
