Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
