she smelled like a LAN party
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
