I CAN MOONWALK!
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
