He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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