My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
you never un-have a 4some
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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