I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
