I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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