Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
