I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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