So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
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I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
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Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
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