she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
