GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
