No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
