why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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