If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
