yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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