I'm really into asian looking animals
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
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