oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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