Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize