I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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