they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
