I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
