He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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