he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
