I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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