She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
