Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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